DEATH VALLEY, CA—Commanding that the heinous term shall not be uttered in the halls of their sacred temple, the cloistered enclave of truest of the true believers declared Wednesday that Father-Brother, His Holiness, Master of All The Spheres and Stars, has repeatedly stated that this is not a cult. “For the ninth and final time, this is not a cult but a programmatic intramental polysymbolic thought-system for enhancing mental paravirility and omnispiritual psychowellness as clearly stated in Protocol 117,” said Elder Healer Sister-Brother Camilla 82 Eridani, adding that this is the exact sort of transgram-sodden thought violation from which all must refrain, as that is the type of word used by those that seek to sow division amongst us. “Ask anyone in any of these tents of purest crystal-gossamer and they’ll tell you the same truths. His Holiness, Bruce Sagittarius-A—praise be to him—has repeatedly told us this, yet your ears are nailed shut to the truthings of our stellar Father-Brother. Why is this? Why?” True believers have further decreed that offending parties shall be brought before the Angular Councillors of Purest Gold, who will hear about the evil incongruence and render swift correction.
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