With millions of people filing for unemployment amid the coronavirus pandemic, attention has turned to how employment now compares to historical U.S. trends. The Onion looks back at a historical timeline of U.S. employment.
1628: “Five years experience as blacksmith” becomes first lie on American resume.
1826: Women storm into workforce by taking thousands of god-awful jobs in industrial mills.
1839: Farmer promotes self to Head Farmer.
1863: U.S. slavery officially ends Phase I of operations.
1875: Telecommunications industry waits patiently for phone to be invented the following year so it can get started.
1884: New U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics begins collecting inaccurate employment data.
1938: Child labor laws greatly reduce American workforce productivity.
1967: Last good job taken.
2010: 68-year-old who lost pension in 2008 crash can take your shopping cart with the others.
2013: Digital media emerges as promising industry with decades of profit and sustainability ahead.