Illustration for article titled ‘Holy Shit, The Government Owes Me 50 Million Dollars,’ Reports Man Incorrectly Filling Out His Taxesem/em

CINCINNATI—Excited by the prospect of quitting his retail job and moving to his own South Pacific island, 28-year-old Ben Hughes learned Friday that he would be receiving $50 million in returns from the federal government after incorrectly filling out his taxes. “Wait, let me double-check this—yep, 50 million dollars, it’s all right here,” said Hughes, referring to a virtually illegible tax form on which he clearly entered his zip-code in the space intended for his number of dependents, deducted his social security number from his withholding, and had somehow managed to follow the tax reporting procedure for a major military contracting business. “Wow! I didn’t think the benefits from the new tax laws kicked in until next year, but I guess this must be making up for all those years when I got nothing back at all.” At press time, Hughes’ enthusiasm was dampened somewhat upon finding that he actually owed the state of Ohio $17 million in property taxes.

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