FRONTENAC, MO—Declaring that the home’s decor stood in violation of a bevy of the basic community guidelines, a local homeowners’ association reportedly served notice to the owners of a house Tuesday with too few plastic skeletons dangling from its roof. “When you agreed to live in this neighborhood, you signed a contract stating that you would go absolutely balls to the wall with Halloween decorations, and a paltry half dozen plastic skeletons hastily strung up on a gutter hardly qualifies,” read the letter in part, informing the homeowners that they had 48 hours to get at least five carved jack-o’-lanterns, 10 gravestones with pun-based inscriptions, or a witch riding a broom up on the roof to meet the HOA’s minimum Halloween requirements. “We should not need to remind you that this is a community, and as a community, we agree to take Halloween deeply seriously. We would be remiss in noting that we can’t observe a single inflatable black cat anywhere on the property, and you need at least three square feet of fake cobweb per bush to comply with your contractual obligations. In addition, the plastic skeletons, such as they are, cannot by any measure meet the Association’s definition of ‘festooned.’ Sadly, there’s not even a single pair of zombie hands emerging from the ground. Every residence is expected to have at least one giant spider with light up eyes. We simply cannot have your home detracting from the Newtons’ haunted house next store, nor the Mayworths’ light-up ghost display across the street. Please remedy this situation immediately. As is, this is simply not up to Stonington’s standards.” Representatives from the homeowners’ association told reporters that the Halloween display was the gravest violation of its bylaws since a family erected an inflatable menorah on their lawn in December 2019.