BOSTON—Having made some pretty bold claims concerning the product’s effectiveness and overall value, hotshot marketing app TargetDemo is talking a big game about being good for its small-business customer base, sources confirmed Tuesday. “This high and mighty product sure has a lot of nerve to claim that it can streamline data collection and improve communication with customers,” local woman Michelle Carson said upon reading the incredibly cocky description on the TargetDemo website, noting that she would only believe the app’s similarly audacious claims about its ability to enhance profitability “when [she sees] it for [herself].” “On top of that, this big shot product apparently expects us to believe that not only does it provide 24-hour customer service and a user-friendly interface, but that it can also increase workforce productivity by 15 to 25 percent. That’s a lot of big talk right there, buddy—they must have brass balls like you wouldn’t believe.” At press time, a visibly embarrassed and chastened Carson was eagerly uploading the app herself after trying the product and discovering TargetDemo actually fulfilled upon their claims. Carson had no comment.
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