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House Passes Bill Banning Ownership Of Tigers, Lions

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The House has passed a bill that would prohibit keeping tigers, lions, and other big cat species as pets, and ban direct public contact like cub petting. What do you think?

“I feel so much safer in schools and grocery stores and movie theaters and churches now.”

Vaughn Kistler, Corset Tightener

“Tough weekend to own a sports team in Detroit.”

Kim Gomez, Tchotchke Broker

“Well, now what am I supposed to do with this thousand pounds of zebra meat?”

Brian Varnell, Unemployed