With seemingly every new poll showing changes in the Democratic race and competitive polling between leading Democratic challengers and President Trump, every campaign is searching for ways to improve its polling numbers. The Onion breaks down what each candidate can do to get their numbers up.
Remind voters he’s only had two previous presidential campaigns to figure this all out.
Open up to voters by revealing offbeat, quirky side.
Ramp up outreach to the chronically ignored demographic of MSNBC and CNN pundits.
Another Hamptons speech or two ought to do it.
What do you have to lose? Bump it to 2K a month.
Emphasize background running profitable healthcare company to ensure Americans firmly associate him with current state of nation’s healthcare.
Significantly raise average own campaign donation.
Pace herself while rest of the candidates who don’t stand for anything drop out.
Put her money where her mouth is and decapitate a banker.