Recent clashes with pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong have refocused international scrutiny on the Chinese government’s efforts to quell social unrest and silence demonstrators. Here are some ways that China stifles its dissenters:
- Filtering out any Google search results that don’t link to photo of small child waving Chinese flag
- Citizens legally obligated to cover ears if they hear word “democracy”
- Government reeducation cemeteries
- Obscuring government buildings, detention centers, fellow citizens from view behind constant opaque shroud of smog
- Bankrolling entire goddamn free world
- Wildly popular children’s show “The Adventures Of Shangwen: The Dragon Who Never Deviates From Proper Decorum”
- 3.5 million square miles of hard-to-find places
- Withholding wages of anyone who goes near public space
- Opening one new KFC location for every year citizens do not engage in any free speech whatsoever
- With the implicit approval of the international community