How Gerrymandering Works

Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.

STEP 1:

Exhausted lawmaker thinks it might be nice to never have to campaign or listen to voters in district ever again

STEP 2:

Candidates meet with their constituents and decide which ones they’d like to hear from

STEP 3:

Democrats are lured into blue districts with promise of functional school systems

STEP 4:

Cartographer has only clandestine meeting of life

STEP 5:

Child’s drawing of a seahorse traced onto a map of North Carolina

STEP 6:

Terrified lawmakers cower in corner of lab and shout “It’s alive!” after bringing freakish composite district into being

STEP 7:

Lawmaker in gerrymandered district undergoes brief existential crisis upon realizing nothing he says or does has any consequences

STEP 8:

Voter gives up

STEP 9:

Unstoppable political dynasty established in 300-mile-long, 10-foot-wide strip of Arizona