In the midst of a record hurricane season, meteorologists are paying close attention as storms take shape and gather strength. Here’s a step-by-step guide to how hurricanes form.
STEP 1
A tropical disturbance is created when Mneseus, son of Poseidon and reigning King of Atlantis, strikes a deadly blow to a multi-headed hydra by ramming his trident through its heart
STEP 2
Dispatch gets tip about a bunch of shady-looking clouds loitering off the coast of Venezuela
STEP 3
Red arrows on weather chart start going fucking nuts
STEP 4
Tropical storm builds chrysalis around itself and emerges 10 days later as a mature hurricane
STEP 5
Hurricane’s name is selected from a pre-approved list of people who have wronged meteorologists
STEP 6
Channel 7 pulls out the big wind sock
STEP 7
Storm putters around Atlantic ocean before working up courage to go on land
STEP 8
It’s really coming down out there
STEP 9
The arrival of a windbreaker-clad Anderson Cooper signals the storm surge is at its peak
STEP 10
Hurricane suddenly not so tough away from its precious lukewarm ocean water
STEP 11
Hurricane enjoys 1-2 years of being the most powerful ever recorded