How Meat Reaches Our Table

With Americans consuming well over 100 pounds of meat per year on average, many wonder what’s involved in bringing this food from the farm to our table. Here is a step-by-step look at how meat is processed for our consumption:

  • Step 1: Free-range animals live comfortably outdoors throughout FDA inspector’s visit
  • Step 2: Legal consultant assures Chipotle execs that the term “responsibly raised” remains unregulated by the government
  • Step 3: Mom decides it’ll be fun to make tacos at home
  • Step 4: Conveyor belt fired up
  • Step 5: To increase efficiency, melted cheese is subcutaneously injected prior to animals’ slaughter
  • Step 6: Redacted for your welfare
  • Step 7: Only meat that’s pretty good receives the USDA Certified Pretty Good sticker
  • Step 8: Blast chillers prevent the spread of pathogens that could disastrously cause humans to think twice about eating meat
  • Step 9: Butcher touches the poultry however he wants
  • Step 10: Burger joylessly inhaled on way to afternoon meeting

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