With Americans consuming well over 100 pounds of meat per year on average, many wonder what’s involved in bringing this food from the farm to our table. Here is a step-by-step look at how meat is processed for our consumption:

  • Step 1: Free-range animals live comfortably outdoors throughout FDA inspector’s visit
  • Step 2: Legal consultant assures Chipotle execs that the term “responsibly raised” remains unregulated by the government
  • Step 3: Mom decides it’ll be fun to make tacos at home
  • Step 4: Conveyor belt fired up
  • Step 5: To increase efficiency, melted cheese is subcutaneously injected prior to animals’ slaughter
  • Step 6: Redacted for your welfare
  • Step 7: Only meat that’s pretty good receives the USDA Certified Pretty Good sticker
  • Step 8: Blast chillers prevent the spread of pathogens that could disastrously cause humans to think twice about eating meat
  • Step 9: Butcher touches the poultry however he wants
  • Step 10: Burger joylessly inhaled on way to afternoon meeting