How Stock Trading Apps Like Robinhood Work

Illustration for article titled How Stock Trading Apps Like Robinhood Work

The recent flurry of activity surrounding retail investors and the GameStop stock have shone a spotlight on stock trading apps like Robinhood, which have been the subject of both recent criticism and praise. The Onion explains how stock trading apps work.

  • STEP 1: 23-year-old Stanford grad believes everyone deserves an opportunity to lose everything in the stock market.
  • STEP 2: Simple, intuitive interface makes it easy to be tricked into thinking you know what you’re doing.
  • STEP 3: Player avatars use StockBalls to catch wild stocks.
  • STEP 4: Purchased half-stock checked on for 19th time in an hour.
  • STEP 5: Partner lied to about current state of investment portfolio.
  • STEP 6: User earns free stock by referring fellow investors susceptible to pyramid schemes.
  • STEP 7: Upgrade to gold plan to lose more money faster.
  • STEP 8: Funds from many individual investors pooled together for CEO’s down payment on mansion.
  • STEP 9: Look, this was all laid out perfectly clearly in your Macroeconomics 101 class.
  • STEP 10: User scours FAQ page in vain attempt to figure out where all their money went.