As people spend more time online and social media becomes more monetizable, successful social media influencers can make millions of dollars a year, but finding success can be difficult. The Onion provides a step-by-step guide to becoming a social media influencer.
STEP 1: Cultivate a fun personality like “quirky” or “immeasurably rich.”
STEP 2: Suppress the part of your brain that experiences shame.
STEP 3: Complete 100 hours of posting under the supervision of a licensed social media instructor.
STEP 4: Be authentic—it’s easy to tell when someone doesn’t really give a shit about unboxing socks.
STEP 5: Ensure that you’ve applied for all proper account zoning permits.
STEP 6: Practice influencing your friends to do certain things like commenting on your posts, using your promo codes, and skipping another meal to get swimsuit-ready.
STEP 7: Before hitting 10,000 followers, scrub social media of all those times you were very racist.
STEP 8: Let companies know you’re open to having them pay you hundreds of thousands of dollars per post.
STEP 9: Make sure to swap out your dog with a fresh puppy every six months for maximum views.
STEP 10: Remind your followers that even if things are crazy right now, we can make the world a better place by staying at Wyndham Hotels.