How To Create Beautiful Lighting In Your Home

Illustration for article titled How To Create Beautiful Lighting In Your Home

Whether you’re looking to optimize the feng shui of your apartment or make your large mansion feel cozy, the lighting in your home can make a huge difference. The Onion presents a guide to beautiful lighting in your home.


Accent Lighting: Discreetly draw attention to your home’s best features with a flashing red neon arrow.

Overhead Lighting: This simple, utilitarian style of lighting is perfect for creating a blinding reflection in the top third of your laptop screen.

Dimmers: Add a dimmer switch in rooms where meals are served to adjust based on how shitty the food comes out looking.

Natural Light: Maximize natural light by removing any unnecessary walls or ceilings.

Fake Candles: Coward.

Know About Lightbulbs: If you’re completely new to light, you’re definitely going to want to figure out what these are first.


Bedroom Lighting: Lights? In the room where you sleep? Oh sure, that makes sense.

Keep It Simple: Avoid using multiple lights when a single well-placed 10,000-watt spotlight can accomplish the same thing.


Interrogation Room Lighting: Nothing says “Tell us what you know” like a foggy antique lightbulb dangling over a stool in the center of the room.