Whether you’re looking to optimize the feng shui of your apartment or make your large mansion feel cozy, the lighting in your home can make a huge difference. The Onion presents a guide to beautiful lighting in your home.
Accent Lighting: Discreetly draw attention to your home’s best features with a flashing red neon arrow.
Overhead Lighting: This simple, utilitarian style of lighting is perfect for creating a blinding reflection in the top third of your laptop screen.
Dimmers: Add a dimmer switch in rooms where meals are served to adjust based on how shitty the food comes out looking.
Natural Light: Maximize natural light by removing any unnecessary walls or ceilings.
Fake Candles: Coward.
Know About Lightbulbs: If you’re completely new to light, you’re definitely going to want to figure out what these are first.
Bedroom Lighting: Lights? In the room where you sleep? Oh sure, that makes sense.
Keep It Simple: Avoid using multiple lights when a single well-placed 10,000-watt spotlight can accomplish the same thing.
Interrogation Room Lighting: Nothing says “Tell us what you know” like a foggy antique lightbulb dangling over a stool in the center of the room.