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How To Prevent Procrastination On Your Laptop

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  • First, dull your senses to all external stimuli by spending 56 straight hours in a European nightclub.
  • Reach out individually to each of the contacts in your phone, email, and social media accounts, explaining that you won’t be available for the next few hours.
  • Remember to prioritize. Is your paused game of Tetris really more important than your mortgage application? Wait—wait, are you really on level 62? For the love of god, keep that streak going.
  • Be advised that as soon as you hit your stride and begin tackling your work, you might experience a sudden and unexplained desire to go check on your laundry, spread peanut butter on a slice of white bread, or inspect your teeth in the mirror.
  • If all else fails, try writing your first draft in fountain pen by candlelight like it’s 2002.

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