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How To Strike It Rich

Illustration for article titled How To Strike It Rich
  • Investment experts always say you have to spend money to make money, so go spend all your money.
  • You don’t have to go it alone. Stage a kidnapping with the underappreciated son of your wealthy employer and split the ransom down the middle.
  • If you’re familiar with neither the concept of a Ponzi scheme nor the copious inevitable risks therein, prepare to hear the offer of a lifetime.
  • Patricide is an effective means of expediting the inheritance process.
  • Remember, your collection of vintage Boba Fett figurines is only as valuable as your willingness to part with them.

Not all get-rich-quick ideas are created equal. Come see Masterminds, in theaters September 30.

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