NEW YORK—Saying the policy was intended to ensure all workers felt fairly treated, Cardiff Digital’s human resources department reminded employees Monday that if they are in an office relationship, HR should get some sugar, too. “Employees in office romances should remember the deal here, which is that if you’re getting yours, HR should be getting a little something-something,” said HR director Eliza Stanton, making wet kissing noises as she patted her lap and said that any worker in such a situation could sit down right here and tell her all about their intra-office relationship. “Some kiss kiss. Some hug hug. Everyone wins. What’s wrong with that? What, you want your HR representatives getting all pent-up hearing about the spicy stuff you’re doing with your colleagues? Hey, that wouldn’t be fair. So give a little smooch to mama. Now, now, don’t be shy. You know that’s against company policy.” At press time, Stanton was reportedly urging employees to schedule a one-on-one meeting while moaning and slowly licking the glass door to her office.