Dave Noonan

It seems like Big Government is always finding more ways to stick its nose into everybody’s business. At this very moment, they’re probably working on all kinds of new ways to trample upon the God-given rights of freedom-loving Americans like you and me. I can’t tell you what they’ve got planned next, but I can tell you one thing: There’ll be hell to pay if Uncle Sam or anybody else ever comes after my garbage.

Seriously, I’d like to see those government clowns try and take my trash away.

That’s one place where I absolutely draw the line. I’m not about to let the government come onto my property and take my garbage from my home. Not without a fight. No, I will lay down my life before I let them get their hands on so much as a single one of my crumpled-up napkins or discarded pizza boxes.

They’re going to send men into your neighborhood to round up all the garbage and take it away forever. Anyone who tells you different is lying.

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You see, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. They’ll start by grabbing all the bags of trash you have piled up by the curb, but it won’t stop there. Next, they’re going to come for your recyclables—paper and plastic, bottles and cans, you name it. Have any raked-up leaves or lawn clippings bagged up in your front yard? Get ready to kiss those goodbye, too.

They’re going to send men into your neighborhood to round up all the garbage and take it away forever. Anyone who tells you different is lying.

It could be today; it could be tomorrow. It could be when you’re at work, or early in the morning when you’re still in bed. It could be Monday between the hours of 7 and 9 a.m. or, if that happens to be a public holiday, it could be Tuesday. But make no mistake: They’re coming. And once you let go of your trash, that’s that. You’re not getting it back.

We should fear any government that doesn’t want its citizens to have garbage. That’s my firm belief. Maybe you’re one of those people who thinks the authorities ought to take away the refuse of every last American citizen. Fine. You have a right to your own opinion. But a country where some ignorant, power-mad government lackey can take away anyone’s trash at a moment’s notice isn’t the kind of country I want to live in. And if these people think they can get mine, I dare them to try—anytime, day or night.

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I’ll be right here on my doorstep with a fully loaded bag of garbage in each hand, ready to give them hell.