I Know Exactly How Sarah Palin Feels

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It seems like there is a new scandal all the time about Sarah Palin. One time I saw she was firing her ex-brother-in-law from the Alaska state police, then I heard she was banning books at her town's library, and then there was that thing about charging her state travel expenses for nights she spent at home, and then her e-mail and whatever.

As a former candidate for office myself I've definitely been there. Derek Telerico, my NOW EX-boyfriend did the same exact thing to me when I was running for junior class president earlier this month. It's super annoying.

First he tells me he that he wants to go see a movie with a bunch of people and one of those people is Gretchen Vanderkamp, and he knows that I've hated her since National Art Honor Society last year, and I tell him I don't want him to go because I have a stomach ache, and he tells me "not to be so dramatic," and I tell him just forget it, and he says "why," and I say forget it, it doesn't matter, anyway, and then he GOES ANYWAY!


It's just the same kind of thing the male-dominated media is doing to Sarah Palin right now about her quote-unquote lack of experience, right Sarah?

And even before that, I was campaigning in the commons before school, and I told Derek Telerico (my, as I said EX-BOYFRIEND) not to take a picture of me for my campaign posters until right then because I just came back from marching band practice and was all sweaty. And I know I don't have to tell any of you familiar with Sarah Palin's vice-presidential candidacy that DEREK DID IT ANYWAY, and there I was, nasty from marching band practice, all over the school.


Now Derek has been NO HELP to me, his GIRLFRIEND, this entire election, and then I'm at Amanda Gallagher's birthday / my campaign victory party at Scott Hendrickson's house, and everyone tells me to give a speech, and I do, and where's Derek? Oh no, he wasn't downstairs to see it. Then what happens? Sarah Palin knows, I can tell you that! I go upstairs, and there's Derek, totally making out with that tramp Gretchen Vandercamp on Scott's sister's stupid bed! God, I know just how Sarah Palin feels!