DETROIT—Hastily altering the degree of expertise he was attempting to project, local liar Patrick Veith reportedly stated Tuesday, “I saw it a long time ago, or maybe I only saw part of it,” immediately backtracking on his claim from just seconds ago that he had seen the film Barry Lyndon. “It was in high school or college I think, but yeah, I definitely liked it,” said Veith, who was unable to identify a single aspect of the film in question’s plot upon being pressed for more information. “I can’t remember that much, honestly. I know it has that one guy though. And it has that crazy scene where all the shit goes down. Great movie. I love that director. What did you say his name was again?” At press time, Veith had admitted that he had gotten the film mixed up with Billy Madison.