WASHINGTON—In an effort to prepare officers for upcoming nationwide raids on undocumented immigrants, ICE officials announced Thursday that they would be sending agents home with sacks of flour to practice detaining real babies. “Providing each immigration agent with a 5-pound bag of flour to take home will give them hands-on experience prior to separating real infants from their families this weekend,” said ICE director Thomas Homan, noting that the bags of flour are roughly the same size and weight of a real baby that they will be ripping from their mother’s arms when the no-tolerance crackdown on immigrants in the U.S. begins Sunday. “We want our officers to know what to expect when they’re expecting to apprehend a baby—it isn’t as easy as it looks. You have to know how to identify them, process them, and hold their heads as you carry them into a cell. Practicing on a sack of flour first will help them learn the skills. We’re also encouraging agents to draw terrified, crying faces on the sacks of flour as a fun, creative way to make the experience more realistic.” At press time, several officers had to be issued a second sack of flour after their first one broke open while they practiced throwing them into cages.
More from The Onion