If Someone Gives You A Bad Gift, Do Not Say These Things

If Someone Gives You A Bad Gift, Do Not Say These Things

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When in doubt, always lie. Here are things you should never say if someone gives you a gift you don’t like.

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“I’ll try wrapping it and opening it again.”

“I’ll try wrapping it and opening it again.”

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It’s going to be the same bad gift even after you open it again.

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“What gave you the impression I would like this?”

“What gave you the impression I would like this?”

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Whatever the response is will definitely hurt your feelings.

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“Last time you got us a gift, a bunch of Greek soldiers jumped out of it.”

“Last time you got us a gift, a bunch of Greek soldiers jumped out of it.”

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You don’t have to bring it behind the city walls this time, but at least say thank you.

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“I’m just going to really quickly check Crate & Barrel’s return policy for reasons that have nothing to do with the cake stand you got me.”

“I’m just going to really quickly check Crate & Barrel’s return policy for reasons that have nothing to do with the cake stand you got me.”

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This may not come off as subtly as you think.

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“This isn’t the organ I needed.”

“This isn’t the organ I needed.”

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They’ve already gone through the trouble of having their kidney removed. The least you can do is accept it graciously.

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“I will not be buried with this.”

“I will not be buried with this.”

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Just lie and say you like it enough to take it with you into the afterlife.

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“A board game, huh? That’s cool, I guess.”

“A board game, huh? That’s cool, I guess.”

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It may not have been what you asked for, but many people are uncomfortable purchasing hardcore pornography.

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“Thanks so much, but I actually already have one of these.”

“Thanks so much, but I actually already have one of these.”

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It’s more polite to just say “thank you” and return the child later.

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“This is clearly a counterfeit Adrien Brody autograph.”

“This is clearly a counterfeit Adrien Brody autograph.”

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Not everyone can spot the fakes.

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“This will feature prominently in my nightmares.”

“This will feature prominently in my nightmares.”

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Don’t make a promise you can’t keep, bud.

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“You have much to atone for.”

“You have much to atone for.”

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This feedback is far too vague to properly correct the behavior of a substandard gift-giver.

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“I already have 587 of these.”

“I already have 587 of these.”

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If you’re going to lie about having one already, pick a more believable number, like nine.

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“Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman.”

“Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman.”

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What are you trying to do, get us all killed?!

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“Did you happen to get me a box of matches too?”

“Did you happen to get me a box of matches too?”

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Usually, gift-givers don’t enjoy having their gift burned right in front of their face.

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“Did you make this yourself?”

“Did you make this yourself?”

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Unless they’re the person at Amazon who makes gift cards, you know very well they did not.

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“Last time I checked, I already have a bunch of stupid stuff I don’t need or want.”

“Last time I checked, I already have a bunch of stupid stuff I don’t need or want.”

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This might inadvertently let them off the hook.

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“I love it!”

“I love it!”

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Great, now you’re locked in to get really chunky bracelets every year till Grandma dies.

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“Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

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If they wanted to be thanked, they would have gotten you a better gift.

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