Ikea Wardrobe Contains Cheap, Poorly Constructed Fantasy World Inside

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BEACON, NY—Expressing disappointment in the enchanted kingdom’s shoddy craftsmanship and design, the children of the local Wentworth family told reporters Friday that the Ikea Klädskåp wardrobe they found in their uncle’s country estate contained a cheap, poorly constructed fantasy world inside. “When we first discovered a whole magical realm in Uncle Reynold’s wardrobe, we were astonished, to say the least, but as we got closer to the capital’s castle, we saw that it was made out of really low-quality plywood and had already cracked in a bunch of places,” said eldest daughter Emma Wentworth, adding that her siblings’ excitement at an invitation to meet the Regent Queen Nyblom and her talking leopard had been significantly diminished when the monarch sat down on her regal throne and it immediately broke under her weight. “The more we explored, the more it just felt like the whole place was ripped off from higher quality fantasy kingdoms. The winged goblins were all made out of cardboard, so it was hard to get scared of them. Then the lair of the dark sorceress was definitely missing some pieces, because we could see right into it from outside. Oh, and the book of prophecies they showed us was just a bunch of stupid wordless diagrams about how to save the realm. It was so hard to follow that we eventually just got frustrated and went home.” Wentworth added that the meatballs served at the royal banquet had actually been pretty good, though.