WASHINGTON—Calling their undying commitment and grit a true inspiration, sources confirmed Tuesday that NFL fans across the nation have heroically persevered through recent adversity to continue watching football. “It is nothing short of amazing that, in spite of all they have been through, millions of courageous men and women summoned the strength to watch nearly 10 consecutive hours of football on Sunday,” said ESPN analyst Chris Mortensen, referring to the brave souls who, in the wake of such a tumultuous week, somehow soldiered on to cheer for touchdown after touchdown. “Many assumed that sitting down and watching football would simply be too much to bear, and after enduring so much, no one would have faulted them for turning off the television and calling it quits. Instead, these gallant warriors showed us the very meaning of courage by viewing the CBS doubleheader and then the primetime games on Sunday and Monday nights. If only we could all be so strong.” Mortensen added that, in the ultimate display of bravery and valor, these selfless heroes will likely do it all again next week as well.
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