The Chicago “L” began operating 125 years ago today and became the nation’s first rapid transit system. The Onion looks back on some of the most important innovations in the history of public transportation.

980 B.C.

Mongolian village installs hop-on/hop-off horse to walk up and down main road all day

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1897

Boston constructs the country’s first public subway system in effort to give residents easier access to diseased rodents

1910

Japan’s first bullet cable car, capable of traveling from downtown Tokyo to the surrounding fishing villages in seconds flat, begins operating

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1959

Disneyland comes under fire after the completion of its monorail system leads to the rapid gentrification of Main Street, U.S.A.

1973

Budget cuts force New York’s MTA to lay off hundreds of flutists in favor of prerecorded door closing signals

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1981

After decades of stalled progress, signaling-bus-driver-to-stop technology makes seismic leap with the advent of tape you can press

1998

The introduction of the party bus leads to the decline of gas-guzzling cars with stripper poles and mini fridges in them

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2012

Cousin says you can use some tram system called the FRAN when you come visit

2013

New apps help users figure out just how fucked their bus ride home is going to be

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2017

Downtown local train dispatched in 1956 arrives at Penn Station