Insane Things That Everyone Who Uses Dating Apps Has Experienced

You meant to swipe left on some creep but mistakenly swiped down, which sends that person your address and a notification that you’d like to have sex immediately.

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to exchange a few flirty messages before realizing you’re talking to a teaser trailer for F9.

Perhaps the most painful way to discover you’re not the only one who’s cheating.

Right, like the fish holding a guy by his mouth is going to make the fish more appealing to go on a date with.

Who hasn’t encountered someone who just wants to unburden themselves about what they did to that tourist 20 years ago?

They said in their bio they were 6-foot-1, but now you have to view them under a microscope to have a conversation at dinner? No thanks.

When that hottie who’s down for anything starts asking about the Peloponnesian War or themes in The Crucible, you know you’ve been duped by a teenager with a paper due in the morning.

Once you’ve swiped right on 7.8 billion people, it’s time to set your sites outside the Milky Way.

Not again.

That wasn’t just a way to protect their friend’s identity. That’s what they looked like all along.

Old-fashioned dating did not cause nearly as much median nerve compression as its modern equivalent.

Anyone using the apps correctly should have an investigative podcast episode covering the grizzly events of at least one date.

The worst part is how he always just glosses over the Chesapeake-Leopard affair.

Bad enough when they chopped their ex out of that beach photo but even worse when they reinserted them into the restaurant, minus one arm.

Unfortunately, most users find it hard to break out of the established teacher-student power dynamic.

Everyone who uses dating apps eventually finds the impulse to start harassing people online irresistible.

$5.99 a month is worth it if the person not texting you back is a firefighter.

If all of his photos are him banging on a screen and all of his messages are about an evil professor who uploaded him to Tinder, you might want to think twice.

Sorry, there’s no one out there that will love you, so maybe you should focus on loving yourself.