James, Bosh, Wade Decide Nickname Will Be 'The Three-Headed Shitstorm'

MIAMI—After weeks of debate over their collective nickname, Lebron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade announced yesterday that the newly formed all-star trio would call themselves the Three-Headed Shitstorm. "It was between the Three-Headed Shitstorm, Miami's Mighty Three-Way, Category 3 Hurricane Fuckface, and Super NBA Friends, which was LeBron's idea that nobody liked," Wade said during an interview with ESPN, adding that the group's first choice, the King Cobra Super Shit Snakes of South Beach, was overruled by Heat president Pat Riley. "We eventually settled on the Three-Headed Shitstorm because there are three of us, and when opponents play against us it's like all this shit is going to be coming at them from every direction. It also has something to do with three-headed dragons." At press time, James was still trying to get the nickname changed to either the Justice Basketball League of America or Three Cool Guys.