PLAINS, GA—Saying they had no way of knowing where these crazy lives of theirs would take them, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly made a pact Thursday with Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) in which the pair agreed that if they were both single in 50 years, they would marry each other. “Look, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, Dianne, but all I’m saying is, if neither of us is married a half century from now, maybe we just throw caution to the wind and get hitched,” said the 98-year-old Carter, who stressed that he knew now was not the right time for either of them, but that they might really be something special together once he and Feinstein, 90, had each spent a few decades on their own—maturing, sexually exploring, and seeing what all the world had to offer. “Come 2073, if we don’t find anyone else, let’s just do it up big together, y’know? Maybe we go to Vegas. You in a white dress, me in a tux, all our family and friends there. Funny to think that most of my aunts and uncles with be in their 170s or 180s by then.” Carter later rushed to add that nothing about the pact prohibited him and Feinstein from occasionally hooking up with each other over the next five decades.
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