AUSTIN—Expressing astonishment at the new mind-blowing revelation, podcaster and former Fear Factor host Joe Rogan was reportedly stunned Tuesday after a 5-year-old told him that horseys come from outer-space. “Whoa, this is huge, man—nobody in the mainstream media is talking about this,” said Rogan, speaking to his guest, self-proclaimed space horsey expert Noah Cooper, in an interview that drew widespread online criticism that Cooper’s kindergarten credentials did not make him an authority on the origins of horseys. “So, wait, you’re telling me that the horseys that we see all around us slid down from outer space on a rainbow? It’s wild how all the studies that found evidence that horses eat stars are being censored. I mean, obviously you know better than anyone since, like you said, you’ve been to space a bajillion times.” At press time, Joe Rogan challenged any horse who refuted these claims to come on the podcast to debate the kindergartener.
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