Judge Overturns Assault Weapons Ban, Likens AR-15 To Swiss Army Knife

A California federal judge has overturned the state’s 32-year-old ban on assault weapons, likening the AR-15 to a Swiss army knife that could be used “for both home and battle.” What do you think?

“Any mass murderer worth their salt knows a Swiss army knife is the superior weapon.”

Claude Kasson, Board Measurer

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“This is exactly what I’ve been trying to explain to all the people I shot.”

Michael Keyes, Pharmaceutical Mixologist

“No one should have that much tooth-picking power.”

Reyna Van Doren, Headmistress