Key Takeaways From The 2021 Elections

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The results from numerous state and local elections on Tuesday have quickly driven debate over the fate of each party and the U.S. electorate at large. The Onion looks at key takeaways from the 2021 elections.

  • Qualities that made Biden grudging, halfhearted choice for nominee somehow not lifting Democratic Party.
  • Sometimes even raw animal magnetism of Terry McAuliffe not enough.
  • A surprising number of people give a shit who’s governor.
  • If they want any chance at reclaiming power, Republicans must figure out how to keep Democrats exactly the way they are.
  • Democrats shouldn’t have used up their supply of fake ballots in the California governor’s recall.
  • Country apparently has elections in odd-numbered years as well.
  • Van Jones needs to change up his tie game.
  • Voters responded negatively to congressional Democrats’ aggressive, far-reaching plans to do absolutely nothing.
  • No idea what’s going on in New Jersey, as usual.
  • There’s no secret to winning an election but being independently wealthy doesn’t hurt.