LOUISVILLE, KY—Referring to the fast food restaurant chain as a revolving door for perverts and sexual deviants, Kentucky Fried Chicken released a new attack ad Tuesday blaming Popeyes for the release of a convicted serial rapist from prison. “Next time you eat the 16-piece Bonafide Family Meal, remember that Popeyes wants serial rapists to have weekend passes so they can roam the streets and terrorize our women and children,” said an unsmiling Colonel Sanders somberly to the camera in a nationally televised commercial spot that went on to roll color-inverted footage of child molesters walking single-file out of a penitentiary and into a Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen whose restaurant sign reads “Felons Eat 10% Off.” “If Popeyes really cares for the well-being of American citizens, then why haven’t we seen a hard stance from them on mandatory sentences for perpetrators of sexual violence? KFC, on the other hand, was founded on a vision of finger lickin’ good chicken and putting violent rapists behind bars where they belong.” The ad reportedly concluded by telling viewers about KFC’s new $10 Chicken Share. 

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