PARK RIDGE, IL—Proclaiming his appreciation for ICE in making sure that those who disobeyed U.S. law were made to pay for their crimes, Koch Foods CEO Joseph Grendys reportedly applauded the arrests of hundreds of immigrant workers Friday as a just consequence for illegally accepting a job at Koch Foods. “These lawbreakers knew the risks when they applied for and received a position at one of our manufacturing facilities, and it’s high time that they were brought to justice,” said Grendys, adding that he favored a zero-tolerance policy against anyone who had such a disregard for the United States legal system as to unlawfully enter the company’s Morton, MS processing plant every day and go to work. “We thank law enforcement for giving these criminals the punishment they deserve. And to these people undermining the fabric of our country, I ask you, how dare you accept a position here? It should’ve been a red flag when our hiring managers didn’t want to see any immigration papers and just let them walk around carrying their welcome packets and receiving compensation. These people must be held accountable for my company’s hiring practices because they’re taking American jobs that I offered them.” Grendys added that he knew the immigrant workers were trouble ever since a lawsuit found that they had been illegally sexually harassed and racially discriminated against.
More from The Onion