Krispy Kreme Sold For $1.35 Billion

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Holding company JAB Beech has purchased donut chain Krispy Kreme for $1.35 billion, the latest acquisition for the company after purchasing Keurig, Peet’s Coffee, and Einstein Bros. Bagels. What do you think?

“It’s times like this I wish I had $1.35 billion.”

Florence Mulaney • Unemployed

“These investors are mere stewards. Krispy Kreme will always belong to the people.”

Brad Waldman • Sprinkle Inspector


“Sometimes conglomerates get cravings just as intense as the rest of us.”

Kent Noonan • Font Auditor