THE HEAVENS—Telling Him to drop His robe and show everyone what He was working with, the late pornographer and First Amendment crusader Larry Flynt promised God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, that an explicit nude photo shoot would make him a star, sources from on high reported Thursday. “Don’t be nervous, big guy—just bend over and the whole world will love You,” said the former Hustler publisher, offering the Creator of All Things a glass of communion wine to help ease His nerves. “Say, can we get some angels in here? We can put one of those halos on Your cock. And let’s get You together with the Holy Ghost and Your son for a threesome. I know it’s dirty, but that’s what folks want nowadays. The people shall know Thy name, just You wait.” At press time, reports confirmed worldwide church attendance had increased tenfold in the wake of the photos’ release.
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