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America's Finest News Source.

Last Salem Witch Pardoned

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Massachusetts lawmakers have formally exonerated Elizabeth Johnson Jr., clearing her name 329 years after she was convicted of witchcraft in 1693 and sentenced to death at the height of the Salem Witch Trials. What do you think?

“At least she can get on with her life now.”

Qasim Wray, Cart Pusher

“I said at the time she was guilty, and I’m sticking to it.”

Thomas Edelstei, Body Piercer

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“Just another misguided move by soft-on-crime Massachusetts liberals.”

Gayle Hardwicke, Cafeteria Supervisor