Late-Arriving Protestor Has No Idea What He’s Chanting

Illustration for article titled Late-Arriving Protestor Has No Idea What He’s Chanting

Something Like ‘Darf The Yannum’ Or ‘Garf To Yaddum’

WASHINGTON—In an effort to approximate the phrase currently being shouted by his fellow protesters, late-arriving rally attendee Dane Stein reportedly cried out “Darf the yannum!” Tuesday, having no idea what he was supposed to be saying as he joined in with the chant. “Gerf to the plennum? Gerf to the plennum!” yelled Stein, who confirmed he had failed to make it to the protest on time after stopping by Panera to pick up a breakfast sandwich and had been forced to scan the signs held by demonstrators for clues as to the rallying cry’s proper wording. “Wait, am I supposed to be against the florff, or are we supporting it? I wish I could read lips, because all I’m hearing right now is ‘No more garffdan.’ Oh, fuck it, maybe I should just clap.” At press time, opting for the surest way to show his unambiguous support for the cause, Stein had reportedly lit himself on fire.