LocalLocalLocalParents Promise Children That Divorce Won’t Prevent Them From Drunkenly Hooking Up On OccasionPOCATELLO, ID—Promising that some things about their family would never change, local parents Laney and Graham…
EntertainmentEntertainmentEntertainmentFavorite Pizza Topping In Every StateAmericans across the country just love to cram pizza into their gaping maws. The Onion examines the most popular…
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsBreaking NewsNew Pediatric Guidelines Recommend Obese Children Compensate With PersonalityITASCA, IL—In an effort to better mitigate the effects of the chronic disease, the American Academy of Pediatrics…
LocalLocalLocalHusband Pledges To Stay Sober For 1 Or 2 Weeks While Wife PregnantANN ARBOR, MI—Wanting to provide his wife with the support she needed during this time, father-to-be Trey McCaffrey…
LocalLocalLocalBlack Man Unaware That Book He's Reading First Step Toward Eventually Being Assassinated By FBIPHILADELPHIA—As he thumbed through the pages of a book that caught his eye at a local library, sources reported…
OpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesAlec Baldwin Charged With ManslaughterOscar-nominated actor Alec Baldwin will be charged with involuntary manslaughter in the fatal shooting of…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLReferee Can’t Help But Grin While Calling Penalty To Bring Back Huge GainBUFFALO, NY—Reached for comment on his experience officiating the NFL divisional round playoff game between the…
EntertainmentTikTokEntertainmentTikTok CCOffEnglishEntertainmentTikTokOnion Sports’ NFL Divisional Round Picks
SportsSportsSportsOnion Sports’ NFL Divisional Round PicksOnion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s Divisional Round.
OpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesNew Zealand Prime Minister Resigns Citing BurnoutNew Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, who gained international praise for her adept response to the nation’s…
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsBreaking NewsAlito, Thomas Share Laugh After Discovering They Both Leaked Dobbs DecisionWASHINGTON—Pointing at each other and shouting as huge grins formed on their faces, Supreme Court Justices Samuel…
LocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosBudget Nursing Home Just Giant 100-Foot Hole
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsBreaking NewsLAPD Arrests Dozens Of Homeless Residents Found Squatting In ShelterLOS ANGELES—Maintaining that the suspects were clearly trespassing on city property, the Los Angeles Police…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLStudy: Majority Of NFL Owners Wouldn’t Let Their Children Purchase Football TeamBOSTON—As concerns about the long-term consequences of NFL participation continue to grow, a new study released…
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsBreaking NewsConcerning Study Finds 1 In 10 Americans Lack Access To Adequate Food Eating ChallengesCHICAGO—According to a new study released Friday by researchers at the University of Chicago, 1 in 10 Americans lack…
LocalLocalLocalCautious Rock Climber Cuts Off Arm To Prevent It From Getting Pinned Underneath Fallen BoulderMONTICELLO, UT—Repeating the old adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, cautious rock climber…
LocalLocalLocalThings To Never Say To Someone Doing ‘Dry January’Dry January is a monthlong challenge during which participants are encouraged to remain sober to improve their…
EntertainmentTikTokEntertainmentTikTok CCOffEnglishEntertainmentTikTokArchaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People
OpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesOpinionAmerican VoicesChina’s Population Drops For First Time In DecadesChina has recorded its first population decline since the late 1950s, the result of restrictive population planning…