LeBron's Next Team

Illustration for article titled LeBron's Next Team

In scant weeks, LeBron James will be the most desirable free agent in recent memory. Where will basketball's biggest catch choose to go?

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  • Kings: Sacramento GM Geoff Petrie has been known to call James "the best player in the league," so perhaps this will flatter LeBron into making the wrong decision
  • Knicks: LeBron has said he's always wanted to play in the Empire State Building
  • Nets: East Rutherford could be the destination, as James has hinted to the media how much he loves "marshy hellholes"
  • Bulls: Have wooed James by offering him a chance to be the franchise's all-time second-best player
  • Bucks: Not very likely, since LeBron has never even heard of this team
  • Heat: Miami, having no income tax, or apparently any other laws of any kind, may prove intriguing to young James
  • BK Ventspils: LeBron has always been enamored with Latvia's nightlife
  • Cavaliers: Makes perfect sense for both sides, but God, would that be boring