RIDGEWOOD, NJ—Speculating on the implications of President Donald Trump leaving the White House in January, local liberal Corey Johnston, 34, told reporters Wednesday he was worried a Joe Biden victory would immediately reignite discussions with his spouse about having kids. “Of course I want Biden to win—I’m just concerned that once it isn’t totally unconscionable to bring children into this world, Jen will want to talk again about starting a family,” said Johnston, explaining that as soon as the nation was no longer subject to the whims of an openly authoritarian bigot who was indifferent to human life, the option to conceive a new life might be brought up frequently by his partner. “Man, the conversation was really put to bed four years ago, but lately I’ve been looking at the polls and getting nervous. If Biden is elected, then avoiding eye contact and saying ‘Yeah, I just feel like it doesn’t make sense with the way things are right now’ isn’t going to cut it anymore. It’s terrifying.” Johnston added that he might have no choice but to bring up Biden’s lackluster climate plan and how any child born this century would endure a series of devastating catastrophes unlike anything previously experienced in human history.