KING ABDULLAH ECONOMIC CITY, SAUDI ARABIA—Players on the LIV Golf tour expressed frustration Friday over the hazards on the course at the Royal Greens Golf and Country Club, where they were reportedly forced to putt around a woman being beheaded. “I was doing all right until the 13th hole, when it cost me three strokes to hit around that executioner chopping off an infidel woman’s head right in the middle of the fairway,” said golfer Bubba Watson, explaining that he was still getting used to the challenges presented by the Saudi-financed golf tour’s courses, on which he was often forced to concentrate on hitting the ball over loud crowds of teenage girls begging for their lives. “It can be frustrating, feeling like you’ve got a good shot off, and then it bounces off a decomposing severed leg just sitting there and rolls into the rough. I understand that we’re here at the behest of the Saudi government, but I guess I wish they would sentence women to death somewhere else besides the middle of the course. I even heard Bryson [DeChambeau] got a two-stroke penalty because his ball hit a lady trying to flee. Luckily, I’ve done pretty well overall, but it can definitely be tricky putting on greens that are slick with blood.” At press time, reports confirmed Watson was growing frustrated after repeatedly hitting his ball into a pile of bodies.
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