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Image for Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Less Money Than You

Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Less Money Than You

It’s not polite to brag, even around the penniless street urchins. Here are things you should never say to someone who makes less money than you.

Image for Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left

Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left

ROCKFORD, IL—His joints cracking as he struggled to conceal himself amid the landscaping outside an area home, aging stalker Geoff Morton reported Monday that he wasn’t sure how many good years of crouching in bushes and peering through windows he…

Image for Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi

Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi

PHOENIX—Describing the 15-minute incident as “a nightmare come to life,” local office workers at Martin Realty were reportedly terrorized Friday by an unhinged ex-employee dropping in to say hi. “We always knew he was a bit off by the way he’d say…

Image for Old TV Show’s Joke About Richard Nixon Being The Current President Would Never Fly Today

Old TV Show’s Joke About Richard Nixon Being The Current President Would Never Fly Today

CARLSBAD, CA—In a moment that reportedly caused viewers to reflect at how much freedom comedians used to have, an old TV show’s joke about Richard Nixon being the current president would never fly today, sources confirmed Monday. “It just shows how…

Videos

Image for Questions I'm Always Asked As A 58-Year-Old Gen Z-er

Questions I'm Always Asked As A 58-Year-Old Gen Z-er

Image for This One’s Just Footage Of A Claw Machine. Is This What You Want?

This One’s Just Footage Of A Claw Machine. Is This What You Want?

Image for The Onion Reviews 'Licorice Pizza'

The Onion Reviews 'Licorice Pizza'

Image for Heartwarming Gravy Donation Drive

Heartwarming Gravy Donation Drive

News In Brief

Image for Old TV Show’s Joke About Richard Nixon Being The Current President Would Never Fly Today

Old TV Show’s Joke About Richard Nixon Being The Current President Would Never Fly Today

Image for Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left

Aging Stalker Not Sure How Many Good Years Of Crouching In Bushes He Has Left

Image for Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi

Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi

Image for ‘Information About Your Upcoming Flight’ Email Informs Passenger That Airplane Will Go In Sky

‘Information About Your Upcoming Flight’ Email Informs Passenger That Airplane Will Go In Sky

Slideshow

Image for Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Less Money Than You

Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Makes Less Money Than You

Image for Signs The Spark Has Definitely Left Your Relationship

Signs The Spark Has Definitely Left Your Relationship

Image for Signs Your Mother-In-Law Actually Hates You

Signs Your Mother-In-Law Actually Hates You

Image for What To Say When Someone Tells You To Lose Weight

What To Say When Someone Tells You To Lose Weight

News In Photos

Image for Verizon Customer Just Wants Acknowledgment He’s Been Treated Worse Than Any Other Person In Company’s History

Verizon Customer Just Wants Acknowledgment He’s Been Treated Worse Than Any Other Person In Company’s History

Image for Woman Brings Clothes To Dressing Room To See What They’ll Look Like Scattered Across Floor

Woman Brings Clothes To Dressing Room To See What They’ll Look Like Scattered Across Floor

Image for Experimental, Iconoclastic Ballerina Stomps Around, Falls On Ass A Bunch

Experimental, Iconoclastic Ballerina Stomps Around, Falls On Ass A Bunch

Image for Student Disassembling Mechanical Pencil Like Soldier Repairing Rifle On Eve Of Battle

Student Disassembling Mechanical Pencil Like Soldier Repairing Rifle On Eve Of Battle

Infographic

Image for The Onion’s Guide To Tea

The Onion’s Guide To Tea

Image for The Onion’s Guide To Socially Responsible Investing

The Onion’s Guide To Socially Responsible Investing

Image for How To Make Cold Brew Coffee

How To Make Cold Brew Coffee

Image for Tips For Buying New Furniture

Tips For Buying New Furniture

Weather Center

Image for Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard

Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard

Image for Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

Image for Scattered Deaths Of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout The Week

Scattered Deaths Of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout The Week

Image for We Dumb It Down The Best We Can For Our Viewers In The Deep South

We Dumb It Down The Best We Can For Our Viewers In The Deep South

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