LocalReport: Everyone Laughing At What Is A Very Silly Misunderstanding, But Don’t Be Fooled—Even Now, The Seeds Of Resentment Are Taking RootBOSTON—Despite everyone laughing at what is admittedly a very silly misunderstanding, a report released Tuesday found that you should not be fooled and that even now the seeds of resentment are taking root. “Go ahead and yuck it up about the…
LocalMan Has Watched All 761 MoviesMADISON, WI—Watching the final credits roll on Grease 2, local man Rob Denton told reporters Monday that he had now watched all 761 movies. “I did it, I watched them all,” said the visibly exhausted man, who claimed to have spent the majority of his…
LocalDavid Cronenberg Once Again Leaves Doctor’s Appointment Disappointed By Lack Of Body HorrorTORONTO—Sighing with frustration as his physician gave him a perfect bill of health, director David Cronenberg once again left a doctor’s appointment disappointed by the lack of any distinct body horror, sources confirmed Monday. “Are you sure…
News In BriefDisappointed Man Reaches Bottom Of Ice Cream Carton Right When He Was Hitting His StrideCLEMSON, SC—Kicking himself for not buying more than a single pint, local man Billy Crenshaw was reportedly disappointed Monday that he had reached the bottom of the ice cream carton right when he was hitting his stride. “Oh man, I was in the…
SlideshowWhat To Say If Your Boss Asks You To Work On ChristmasIf America is going to be a Christian nation, you sure as hell better get the day off. Here’s what to tell your boss if they ask you to work on Christmas day.
News In PhotosAuthorities Reveal Murderer Googled ‘How To Leave Obvious Trail Of Homicide Evidence’ Prior To Crime
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