Local Restaurant Makes Foolhardy Attempt At Second Location

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CINCINNATI—Stunning observers with the reckless and arrogant overextension of their modest business, local restaurant Angelo’s Pizzeria was making a foolhardy attempt at a second location, sources reported Monday. “This shocking hubris will be their undoing,” said one source with knowledge of the situation, dumbfounded that a casual dining establishment of such humble seating capacity would so naively divide what limited resources it had. “Does this restaurant, with its small, uninspired menu, truly believe this scheme can succeed? That the neighborhood of Hyde Park, already blessed with an abundance of pizza options, cries out for yet more of that same fare? No, only vanity, only rank greed, can explain an expansion this ruinous, and the calamity that awaits will be richly earned.” At press time, Angelo’s Pizzeria, unhindered by any notion of common sense or decency, announced they would now be open for brunch at both locations.