CHICO, CA—Acknowledging that he hated the constant badgering while growing up, local man Joseph Porter told…
CHARLESTON, SC—Confessing that this was always the hardest part of his job, local oncologist Dr. William Barlowe…
ATLANTA—Nursing a headache as he tried to piece together where he parked his shuttle, hungover astronaut James…
MADISON, WI—Noting he wasn’t able to secure a kiss at the end, vomit-covered man Daniel Sedona who shit his pants…
NEW YORK—Bemoaning how much time he had squandered on trivial grudges and petty whims, local man Stefan Krawitz,…
‘Nothing’s Out Of Bounds’
EVERYWHERE—In response to an unfolding situation on Monday, the police did a great job, the police said. “The…
CHICAGO—Taking note of his aging relative’s evolving viewpoint, local 29-year-old Brett Lewis told reporters Monday…
GAINESVILLE, FL—Trying to focus on the positives of his new relationship status, local 31-year-old Ed Sanocki told…
DUBUQUE, IA—After a stunning report indicated some 528,000 jobs were added to the U.S. economy during July, the…
WESTFORD, MA—Rising above the maelstrom of violence and disorder perpetually raging inside the man’s psyche, a…
TRENTON, NJ—Acknowledging that a place in a residential zone might have been a better option, Trenton mayor Reed…
PENSACOLA, FL—After multiple violations resulted in the man being forcibly escorted from the establishment Thursday,…
SAN ANTONIO—Agreeing to go through with the plan should they continue to rate as a two or lower when the appointed…
CHICAGO—Having already spent 15 minutes searching for a place to park his vehicle, frustrated fire truck driver…
EVANSTON, IL—Expressing relief that she finally found a mental health professional whose style works for her, local…
DALLAS—Resigned to the fact she was “just at that age,” local 28-year-old Kelly Morton confirmed Tuesday that yet…
SHILABO, ETHIOPIA—Expressing frustration over the constant stereotypes, a swarm of locusts told reporters Tuesday…
CHICAGO—Taken aback at what appeared to be an impossibly abrupt change in hairstyle, coworkers of local Black woman…
LAS VEGAS—Urging concertgoers to pick up a version of the multiplatinum pop star before entering the venue,…