WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Attempting to reassure himself that the home was probably up in flames right at this very moment,…
SAN DIEGO—Gasping as they noticed their son and daughter pointing and screaming at the San Diego Zoo’s primate…
SEYMOUR, IN—Calling into question the 9-year-old amateur geologist’s taste and expertise, sources confirmed Thursday…
NEW YORK—Ignoring what they apparently dismissed as just an ordinary, unassuming man with his pants around his…
NEW YORK—Following reports of the first-ever mass layoffs at Facebook parent company Meta, sources confirmed…
NEW YORK—Responding to the number of irritations and annoyances she had experienced in the past week, stressed-out…
KENNETT SQUARE, PA—Confessing concerns about what would happen if one day, in his old age, he became unable to care…
GARDEN CITY, ID—Scoffing at the utterly ridiculous thought that he’d ever be that much of a morning person, local…
COLUMBUS, OH—Claiming there were arguments to be made on both sides of the race extermination debate, local centrist…
JERSEY CITY, NJ—Watching him settle into his favorite corner booth for a late breakfast, sources reported Monday…
PITTSBURGH—Hoping to break the habit the young child had clung to since infancy, local parents Maria and Robert…
CHICAGO—Turning the hulking fortress of a sandwich slowly in his hands to capture a 360-degree view of his target,…
NEW YORK—As she scanned the bill in search of any other unexpected charges, Westin hotel guest Amy Kreis told…
HUNTSVILLE, AL—Telling reporters it was now common practice to take classic TV and movie characters from the past…
ORANGE, VA—Attempting to stay calm despite his malfunctioning parachute, local skydiver Kevin Paris reportedly did…
YOUR LOCATION—Saying they would cut right to the chase, sources confirmed Tuesday that, long story short, your…
YOUNGSTOWN, OH—With sessions growing longer as more community members seek to voice their views in public, a local…
Child Forced Into Pumpkin Costume Feels First Twinge Of Rage That Will One Day Make Him Mass Shooter
WINAMAC, IN—As the previously latent fury hidden deep within him began to awaken, sources reported Monday that a…
KANSAS CITY, MO—Scouring the bag of candy before throwing it across the room in defeat, disappointed…
CORVALLIS, OR—Pointing out the absolute waste of money on display, Halloween party sources told reporters Monday…