CHICAGO—Expressing relief that they had financially prepared for the unforeseen accident, family sources confirmed…
News In Brief
LOS ANGELES—Gawking at the woman’s feet with a mixture of awe and envy, sources confirmed Wednesday that local…
GLENCOE, IL—Reminding themselves not to get complacent as they reached the culmination of their months-long project,…
‘Oh Boy, A New Message!’ Cries Populace
SEATTLE—Taking comfort in the fact that she had a fallback plan, area woman Gwen Ponte reminded herself Monday that…
DAYTON, OH—Expressing frustration at their pet’s continual barking and whimpering, sources within the Smyth family…
PORTLAND, ME—Mere moments after arriving late to a dinner with friends at Daniel’s Restaurant and Pub, 33-year-old…
GURNEE, IL—Confronted with indisputable evidence that his activity was being documented, local man Ron Peterson was…
WASHINGTON—Barging into your bedroom and turning on the lights, the nation’s moms announced Monday that there was no…
CHICAGO—In an awe-inspiring display of brute strength, beefy gym man Matthew Brennan was reportedly drinking from a…
AUSTIN, TX—Shaking their heads while recalling the days when they were just starting out, the members of local band…
MADRID—Surmising that the professional bullfighter still had latent childhood trauma that he needed to work out,…
ELKTON, MD—In an effort to avoid appearing too desperate, local 911 operator Denise Sarris confirmed Tuesday that…
DALLAS, TX—Gathering his wife and children close to him as he shared the tragic news, area conservative Dan Gainey,…
DENTON, TX—Noting their propensity for antics and shenanigans, area couple Zack Evans and Julie Stuber told…
‘It Makes Me Laugh Every Time’
BEAVERCREEK, OH—Stressing he did not need anything fancy, local laid-back dad Mark McNaren told his family Friday…
NEW YORK—Saying he was “ready to own it,” Dan Burnside, departing CEO of the troubled Fortune 500 company Adelwright…
DURHAM, NC—Growing increasingly desperate as she progressed further and further down the store aisle, local woman…
FREE CITY OF LUBECK, HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE—Apologizing for not thinking five centuries ahead when looking for a job,…