BUFFALO, NY—Hoping to hold onto some semblance of purpose in an unfeeling void, local man Craig Ulrich reportedly…
GREEN BAY, WI—Noticing the unusually cheerful tone in the voice of the employee behind the pickup counter, customer…
TRENTON, NJ—Saying it would be a nice way to unwind after a grueling eight hours at work, local man Patrick…
SHREWSBURY, MA—Praising the corn-based product’s tenacity and refusal to give up, local man Noah Hiatt told…
DEL CITY, OK—Calling the incident a tragedy that could have easily been prevented, authorities announced Wednesday…
NAPLES, FL—Delighting at the chance to interact up close with the wildlife, visitors to the Naples Zoo confirmed…
EVANSTON, IL—Admitting that the anticipation had been the worst part, a local rabbit who was recently caught by a…
TEMPE, AZ—Telling reporters that the notion helped inspire him to continue creating, Keith Gein, a local music box…
LEBANON, NH—Saying he was stunned by the film’s macabre subject matter, area man Tyler Duchesne told reporters…
CROFTON, MD—Conscientiously stowing away the important note, local man Gary Chen carefully placed a piece of paper…
KENNESAW, GA—Shuddering at the thought of what eating that much might do to her body, local woman Jessica Hummel was…
TEMPE, AZ—Fixating on his rotating series of girlfriends and tendency to drink too much wine during holidays, local…
ELYRIA, OH—Silencing her phone in frustration after the day’s fourth unprompted alert, local homeowner Delia Reid…
VERNON, NJ—As he stepped cautiously toward the strange new colors on the supermarket shelf, local man Chuck…
GLOUCESTER, MA—Saying it was the least he could do given the amount they’d shelled out over the years, parents of…
NEW HAVEN, CT—Dramatically rolling her eyes as the comment was made, local woman Katrina Barnes, reportedly became…
NEW YORK—As she waited in line at the pickup counter Tuesday, local woman Beth Morton said, “Ooohhh, that sounds…
MEMPHIS, TN—Shaking their heads at how things used to be while they filled up trash bags in the station, members of…
MIAMI—Following a spectacular night that your completely uninfected friends will be talking about for years to come,…
QUINCY, MA—Sources gathered at the Sasscer household Tuesday were reportedly baffled after a smattering of…