LocalLocalEnlightened Baby Boomer Understands That Younger Generation Isn’t To Blame For Problems Minorities CausedEDINA, MN—Saying it wasn’t fair to put all the blame on millennials and Generation Z, enlightened baby boomer Fred…PublishedSeptember 6, 2023
LocalLocalLate-Returning Burning Man Attendee Forced To Drive Fantastical Wooden Ship Straight To WorkCUPERTINO, CA—Still sporting the fishnet tights, spiked metal collar, and brightly colored pasties he had worn to…PublishedSeptember 5, 2023
LocalLocalLocal Hero Makes It Almost Entire Day Without Molesting ChildUTICA, NY—Nearly maintaining the moral standard from sunup to sundown, local hero Nathan Cessner reportedly made it…PublishedSeptember 5, 2023
LocalLocalFriends, Family Abandon Man One By One After Discovering He BaldingCHICAGO—Telling the 43-year-old that his condition had simply made him impossible to be around, friends and family…PublishedSeptember 5, 2023
LocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosBald Patch Must Be Spot Where Dog Keeps Pissing On HeadPublishedSeptember 4, 2023
LocalLocalMan Steps Out Of Comfort Zone By Flashing Penis In Crowded RestaurantCINCINNATI—Admitting that he had an avoidant personality that often left him closed off to new possibilities,…PublishedSeptember 1, 2023
LocalLocalAmateur Equestrian Still Has To Use Horse With Training LegsGEORGETOWN, KY—Saying that he would get the hang of riding it eventually, an amateur equestrian was reportedly…PublishedSeptember 1, 2023
LocalLocalWell Filled To Brim With Trapped KidsCLEVELAND HILL, NY—Onlookers told reporters on Friday that they were unsure how to proceed with rescue efforts into…PublishedSeptember 1, 2023
LocalLocalCouple Turns To IVF After Struggling To Have OctupletsRICHMOND, VA—Visiting a fertility clinic in the hopes of finally having the family they always wanted, local couple…PublishedAugust 31, 2023
LocalLocalSearch Party Acting Like They Can’t Spare 3 Minutes To Watch Funny VideoCRESTONE, CO—Overreacting to the mere suggestion that a brief moment of levity might be just what the grim situation…PublishedAugust 31, 2023
LocalLocal9/11 Truther Questions Why There Were 2 Huge Bull’s-Eyes Painted On Side Of Twin TowersNEW YORK—Saying he hated to split hairs about such a tragic event, 9/11 truther Ethan Guske nonetheless questioned…PublishedAugust 31, 2023
LocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosArmy Recruiter Standing In High School Hallway Holding NetPublishedAugust 31, 2023
LocalLocalIdiot Kid Dies After Being Left In Unlocked CarPARKERSVILLE, MI—After conducting an investigation that concluded he must have been a certified dipshit, authorities…PublishedAugust 30, 2023
LocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosLength Of Man’s Facial Hair Directly Proportional To How Much Friends, Family Should Be WorriedPublishedAugust 30, 2023
LocalNews In PhotosLocalNews In PhotosClicking ‘Our Board Members’ Link Brings Up Whole Spread Of Shit-Eating GrinsPublishedAugust 29, 2023
LocalLocalUrge To Kill Children Lingers On Much Too Long To Be Postpartum DepressionTACOMA, WA—Saying the disturbing emotions continued to plague her well after the point at which they should have…PublishedAugust 29, 2023
LocalLocalHR Reminds Staff Doctor’s Note Required To Use BathroomNEW YORK—Explaining that any absence must be arranged ahead of time by following proper company protocol as listed…PublishedAugust 29, 2023
LocalLocalCop Annoyed At Assumption That All Police Officers Are As Bad As HimDALLAS—Stressing that those sorts of boilerplate ways of looking at human beings didn’t help anybody, local police…PublishedAugust 29, 2023
LocalLocalParents Don’t Understand How Son Could Spend So Much Money To Live In Place That Brings Him JoyDAYTON, OH—Saying that it made absolutely zero sense for him to squander his paycheck on rent that high, local…PublishedAugust 29, 2023
LocalLocalNerd Who Spent Summer Getting Into Shape Quickly Discovers Bully Worked Out Twice As HardBELLINGHAM, WA—Admitting that his physical transformation didn’t even come close to cutting it, local nerd Hayden…PublishedAugust 28, 2023