BOSTON—Arriving suddenly overnight without any prior warning, a solitary pop-up tent was reportedly seen standing forebodingly at the corner of Endicott and Thacher Streets this morning, its bleak 10’-by-10’ form and the single folding table set up beneath it serving as a dark harbinger of a street festival to come. Bystanders, chilled to the marrow by an array of extension cords snaking across the sidewalk, also reported catching sight of what looked like a small stage being erected between a pair of speakers and confirmed the presence of white plastic chairs stacked in numerous terrifying columns nearby. Aghast sources further claimed to have witnessed a most wretched man briskly moving around the area in a T-shirt emblazoned with the dismaying word “Volunteer,” a telltale sign that roiling hordes of thousands, sweat-covered and beer-craving, would soon appear. At press time, the eerie, ear-splitting screech of a metal fence being dragged across pavement was growing louder and louder, stirring madness inside all within a four-block radius.
More from The Onion