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Look, Brother, Sister Don’t Like That They’re Soulmates Either

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SANTA CLARITA, CA—Saying they weren’t exactly thrilled that the universe paired them together with an unbreakable cosmic link, siblings Jessica and Grant Karlsson told reporters Thursday that, like everyone else, they didn’t like that they were soulmates either. “Look, if I could fall in love with anyone else on the planet, I would, but unfortunately, my biological sibling just happens to be the only one for me,” said Grant, adding that while he never imagined growing up and sharing an undeniably profound physical and emotional connection with his older sister of two years, there’s nothing they could do about it now. “Would I rather settle down with a nice girl who I like, have a normal marriage, and raise normal kids? Of course. But unfortunately, the only time I really feel complete as a human being is when I look deep into my sister’s perfect eyes. So, that’s where we’re at.” At press time, Grant told reporters he was at least grateful the universe hadn’t forced him to fall in love and be paired off for all eternity with his own mother.