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Looking Back On The Worst 365 Days Of Donald Trump's Presidency

Trump Calms Nerves Before Inaugural Address By Reminding Himself He’s The Only Person Who Actually Exists

Trump Deploys National Guard To Press Conference For Standing Ovation

Trump Claims Waterboarding Doesn’t Come Close To The Excruciating Torment He Experiences At Every Moment

Trump Insists That Now, More Than Ever, Americans Must Stand Strong In Face Of Empathy

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Secret Service Adds Emotional Protection Division To Safeguard Trump’s Psyche

Officials Struggling To Condense Trump’s Intelligence Briefing Down To One Word

Aides Wrestle Drill From Trump’s Hands As He Tries To Remove Obama Listening Device From Skull

Trump Unveils Sprawling New Presidential Retreat Where He Can Escape From Stresses Of Mar-A-Lago

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Trump Assures Nation That Decision For Syrian Airstrikes Came After Carefully Considering All His Passing Whims

Trump Spends 10 Minutes Mistakenly Addressing Steve Bannon’s Freshly Shed Exoskeleton

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

Crowd Shocked After Unhinged Trump Dangles Baby From Truman Balcony

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Trump Trying To Figure Out How To Unsubscribe From Boring National Security Email List

Trump Pours Milk Over Bowl Of Skittles While Settling In To Watch Comey Hearing

Leftover Bugles Still Stuck To Trump’s Fingers During Bill Signing

Trump: ‘There Is Hatred On Both Sides Of My Heart’

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Trump Warns Removing Confederate Statues Could Be Slippery Slope To Eliminating Racism Entirely

Panicked John Kelly Ushers Half-Naked Trump Away From Podium As President Shouts Support For Eugenics

John Kelly Hoses Layer Of Crumbs Off President Before Speech On Troop Deployment

Trump: ‘We Will Fight In Afghanistan Until Victorious, Or I Change My Mind, Get Distracted, Look Bad, Or Get Bored’

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Trump Pours Himself Glass Of Chocolate Syrup On Rocks To Unwind After Stressful Day

Trump Fulfills Campaign Promise Of Pushing Major Immigration Decision On Someone Else So He Can Watch TV

Aides Clip Toenails, Wash Hair Of Mumbling, Bedsore-Ridden Trump As President Enters 155th Straight Hour Of Watching Cable News

Aides Concerned Trump’s Mental Health Declining After President Admits He May Not Be Omnipotent Living God

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Trump Comforts Grieving War Widow By Assuring Her He Will Never Die

Nude Aides Huddled Around Trump Assure Him No One Wearing Wire

Trump Privately Terrified His Sexual Assault Victims Will Someday Come Forward

‘Sometimes It Feels Like You’re The Only One Who Understands Me,’ Whispers Trump To White House Roach Infestation

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Trump Vehemently Denies Using Word ‘People’ To Describe African Immigrants

Follow-Up Tests Confirm President Trump’s 19 Other Personalities Also Perfectly Healthy

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