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Mac Jones Calls Game ‘Must Win’ After Bill Belichick Shows Him Picture Of His Family Sleeping

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LAS VEGAS—Discussing what was riding on the team’s upcoming contest against the Las Vegas Raiders, New England Patriots quarterback Mac Jones reportedly called the game a “must win” after head coach Bill Belichick showed him pictures of Jones’ family sleeping. “Right now, we’re on the cusp of the playoffs, and we really need to go out there and win this, especially after Coach Belichick gave me that manila folder with all those photos of my parents asleep in their bed taken by someone who was clearly in the room with them,” said a nervous, sweating Jones, who added that he was confident in a dominant Patriots performance with their playoff hopes and potentially his older brother’s life on the line. “In football, sometimes you don’t get to control your own fate, but we have to do what we can, especially when you’re in a division with teams like the Bills and Dolphins and your coach wordlessly hands you an iPad with an audio recording of your sleeping girlfriend breathing. There’s a lot at stake here, but we badly need a win today for ourselves, our fans, and the defenseless sleeping form of my sister.” At press time, a visibly panicked Jones was seen in the Patriots locker room giving the team a motivational speech while shooting nervous looks at Belichick polishing a knife in the corner.